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Let me start by saying that this is an extremely interesting form you chose to write in. The formatting really adds a lot of depth to an already wonderful piece. Your choice of adjectives and comparisons never ceases to amaze me. Now, if I'm done complimenting the hell out of you, I shall continue. :D

Answering some things you wished to be critiqued on, no, I do not believe this is a ballad. A sad story- yes. A ballad- not quite.

Probably the only thing I disliked about this is the ending. You can say what? It leaves you hanging, which is sometimes dramatic, but in this it just kinda annoys me. If it's supposed to start over (don't know if it is or isn't- just making an example), I would add the first line again in a new stanza in italics. In my opinion, doing so, no matter what it is you intend it to be, this gives a lot more drama than leaving your reader hanging. Just be sure not to overuse it, as I often seem to do. ;)

I also don't really know why he has all these issues, which takes away some impact for me (even something as simple as covering the scars from long past can explain so much to a reader). 5 stars for vision and originality, though. :D

Remember, these are all my opinions. A major key in art is sticking to what you think is right and making yourself happy. :thumbsup:;)

-Amoret :heart:
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.


Kymira12 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The ending ties into the title so the title is the last line :aww: Basically, his issues are the pressure society places on people about their appearances and love. I'll try to think of something that will make that more obvious.

Thank you so much for writing this! :huggle:
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